Posted by Andy Alt
This list is for anyone who thinks they could use some tips on how to be more assertive; it helps to more clearly define what one’s assertive rights are. They seem to expand on one basic right: the right to be human.
I don’t know what number 7 means though.
1. I have the right to be the ultimate judge of my own behavior, thoughts, and emotions, and to take the responsibility for their initiation and consequences upon myself.
2. I have the right to offer no reasons or excuses to justify my behavior.
3. I have the right to judge whether I am responsible for finding solutions to other people’s problems.
4. I have the right to change my mind.
5. I have the right to make mistakes – and to be responsible for them.
6. I have the right to say, “I don’t know.”
7. I have the right to be independent of the goodwill of others before coping with them.
8. I have the right to make decisions without using logic.
9. I have the right to say, “I don’t understand.”
10. I have the right to say, “I don’t care.”
http://www.bpd411.org/billofrights.html
Here is an alternate but similar version:
The following rights highlight the freedom you have to be yourself
without disrespecting others.
• The right to have and express your own feelings and opinions appropriately and have them taken seriously by others.
• The right to ask for what you want.
• The right to say “no” without feeling guilty.
• The right to be treated with respect and not be taken for granted.
• The right to offer no reasons or excuses.
• The right to set your own priorities.
• The right to make mistakes.
• The right to change your mind.
• Then right to make your own decisions and deal with the consequences.
• The right to choose not to assert yourself.
These rights were not written by me; they’ve been around for a while. For more information and discussion, check out Google Search results for Assertive Bill of Rights, or an Amazon.com book search results for Assertiveness.
These rights apply to personal relationships, so a word of caution: Don’t attempt to assert yourself in the manner outlined above when interacting with your employer, for example, or people who can legally collect taxes from you.
For history buffs, an article from TIME magazine:
The Sexes: Assignment: Assertion
Monday, May. 19, 1975
[...]
Though some of the courses are geared toward both sexes, most concentrate on women. “Traditionally, women have been unassertive,” explains Psychologist Arthur Lange, who teaches a course to overcome the problem at the Counseling Center of Southern Illinois University at Carbondale. “They have played the roles men and society have given them rather than seeking their own.” Women’s liberation, he points out, has thrust them into new roles without giving them the skills to play them.
[...]
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,945415,00.html
Andy Alt
Meander
