Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and Sexual Abuse: A Survivor’s Story

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March 17, 2009

My palms are sweating, my heart is beginning to pound, and I am already near tears.  I have just written my first sentence and I am already having an emotionally difficult time in writing this post.  I feel the subject is so important that I am willing to do this in hopes that I will help someone else who has been through this.  This isn’t some academic research article.  I am writing this as a survivor of childhood sexual abuse.

The Grief and Loss of Miscarriage

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March 24, 2009

I remember the day I was told that I was pregnant.  I was in shock for a few days.  It was my first pregnancy and I had no idea what to expect.  I felt a little scared about how my whole life would change.  I remember going out to dinner with my husband to celebrate and ordering a vegetable plate.  For the first time I was eating for two.  I smiled at the thought of it and gently patted my belly.

It wasn’t long before I was bonding with this baby to be.  I felt a joy and a love I had never experienced before.  I was seeing a therapist at the time and I told him that I was pregnant and happy.  He asked me a question I will never forget.  He asked, “Do you now believe that good things can happen to you?”  I warily nodded my head yes.

I went through the next weeks looking forward to a future which included a baby.

But it was not to be.

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Ten Signs that you may be Involved in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship

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February 17, 2009

When I was fifteen years old I met my first boyfriend.  He was the class clown and had the ability to make anyone laugh.  He was extroverted and charmed everyone who met him including me.  What the world didn’t get to see is that he was also emotionally abusive.  I knew because I was the recipient of his abuse.

You would think that I would know better.  I was bright, had plans for a future, and had heard plenty of stories about abuse from friends and family.  But I also suffered from depression and low self esteem.  And this combination made me an easy mark for becoming involved in an emotionally abusive relationship.  What I thought was love on his part was really my boyfriend’s attempts to control me.